She said I was abusive. Here’s why…

True story.

Hopefully you’ve had the opportunity to read the post I wrote yesterday (“I Was A Renegade Marketer“). If not, here’s a snippet from it that didn’t sit too well with at least a couple of readers:

“Once you get out of your own way and allow others to help you, you realize that a lot of the things that are happening to you, both the positive and the negative…

…are no one’s fault but your own!

IT IS YOUR FAULT!

Before you get real upset with me and unsubscribe, please give it some thought. Really give it some thought.”

Oh, you won’t believe the feedback I received! One reader was extremely upset and right before she unsubscribed, she had this to say to me:

“Dear Mr. Robinson,

I am truly disappointed in the tone of your message today. You have been one of the people that I have looked to for advice and help in trying to figure out how to grow my business. One of the things I have appreciated from you is that you really do seem to care, even when you’re trying to sell me something (which is a lot of the time).

Your message today was very abusive and it showed a side of you in which I would have to say is the real you. I cannot begin to describe how offended and hurt I was when you said that it is my fault that I am not successful. How dare you? If you knew my situation, you would take it back. You are suppose to care and be there to help your customers, not put them down and lay the blame on them when the stuff you sell them doesn’t work.

I am unsubscribing from you today and hope to not receive any more of your abuse. I will continue to look for mentors who have a genuine interest in my success and understand that I need to know all of the story to making money for my family and not play the blame game.

Please do not respond to this message. It’s not necessary. Nothing you can say will take back what I read and make anything better.”

WHOA…

I was broadsided by her response. Click To Tweet

So much so that I had to go back and read my own message. Was it really that harsh? I even asked my wife to read it. I even sent it to my mom. One thing I do not like to be labeled as is, “Abusive”.

And then I stopped and took a deep breath. I closed my eyes and began to take a look at it from her perspective, and it was at that very moment, I saw her face.

I pictured a middle-aged lady who was a stay-at-home mom with 2 or three kids, ranging from 4 years to 13 years of age. Her husband is working hard to make ends meet, while she is at home during the day, caring for the kids, washing the clothes, cleaning the house and preparing the family meals.

They are struggling. You can see it the frustration and agony written all over her husband’s face when he comes home after a hard day’s work and puts the car keys on the table and picks up the huge stack of new and overdue bills. He’s working hard, but there’s just not enough paycheck to sustain them.

His wife hears him unlock the door and lay down the car keys.

She greets him each and every day and tries to wear a big smile, knowing that underneath it is a lady who feels his pain and feels somewhat responsible.

She knows that another paycheck would make things better. They could get caught up on bills and enjoy life again. She also knows that the process of going out and seeking a job would be tough for her to do, because she feels that even if she did find a job, the income would only cover the newly added expenses of working (i.e. travel expenses, childcare, business clothing, etc.).

How could she possibly chip in and do it in a way that it doesn’t break up the household and add on more debt that they could not afford.

One day, she’s surfing on Facebook and she begins seeing ads inviting her to check out work-at-home, make money online opportunities. She’s seen these opportunities in the past, but ignored them because back then, they had a big savings account and only 1 kid. Now she’s desperate and after checking out a few ads, watching a few videos and reading the testimonials of people just like her who are making a great income with no experience, she gets excited and begins to imagine the possibilities. YES! She could build an internet business and make some extra cash and finally feel like a real contributor to rescuing her family from almost certain financial devastation.

Fast forward to a couple of months later…

She realizes that it’s not so easy after all. There is so much information out there that she’s feeling overloaded and confused. Some of the bold claims seem bogus, not to mention that she now finds out that it costs money to build a work-from-home business.

Arrrggghhhh! The advertisements said it would be easy!

Then she opens my email and I tell her that, “It is all your fault!”

Yep, that’s exactly how I visualized it. Because of the frustration and emotional state she was in, reading this truly did not help. Or did it?

The truth is I wanted desperately to contact her, but she asked me not to do so. I respect that. What I would say to her if given the chance to do so, is I would explain to her exactly what I’m about to share with you…

One of the things I love the most about entrepreneurship is Freedom. If you’ve been with me long enough, you’ve probably heard me say this. The primary reason (there are a few) why I say this is because working for myself gives me control. When I say control, I mean the freedom to create plans and make decisions that will steer my outcomes. When things don’t work out as planned (and sometimes they don’t), I also have the power to tweak my initial plan or start from scratch. At the end of the day, I am solely responsible for my decisions, thus allowing me to blame no one other than myself when things do not work out. I have the freedom and control to choose whether or not to move forward. Bottom line is, I take full responsibility for every decision I make and every outcome it creates, even the things that are out of my control.

There is an important reason for this…

When you play the blame game (blaming others for your failures or lack of results) you have now given them control over your next steps. However, when you are able to blame yourself and accept total responsibility, you have now armed yourself with the power to press ahead and continue towards finding a solution.

Here’s the deal…

Nothing comes easy. Nothing happens overnight. There will be challenges. There will be obstacles. A lot of things will occur that are beyond your control, no matter how much effort you put in. The question is, “What will be your next step and how will you handle adversity?”

  • Will you quit?
  • Will you keep on doing the same thing over and over again with the expectation of different results (insanity)?
  • Will you accept responsibility and create new plans and/or tweak existing plans and keep going?

The decision you make is yours. It begins with you and ends with you.

**I’d like to know your thoughts. Please feel free to send me a message and of course I will respond (If you’d like me too. :). You may also post your comments below…

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